im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
