I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
