Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
