I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
