Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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