Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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