Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize