i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
