dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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