Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
