I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize