I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I have feelings that need drinking.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
