it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
