There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
