Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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