Kareoke will never be a sober sport
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
