did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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