please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
