If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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