i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
