Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
