im gay
i know
yea but for you.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
