I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
