Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
