I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
