Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
you had me at cake vodka
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
