She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
nutella sex= disaster
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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