You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
