Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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