So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
