no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
