Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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