just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
