Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
