it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
