sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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