Her vagina should come with caution tape.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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