Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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