I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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