I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
