:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
