U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
