she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
