Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She's the barista slut.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
