I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
