from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize