Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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