Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
