Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize