talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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