i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
