google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
