we have pet lesbian snakes
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
