Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
