I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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