First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
ugly people sure do ruin things
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
