I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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