That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
