Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
