I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize