You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
did i just pee glitter
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
