aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
