I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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