Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
