Whatcha textin bout Willis?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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