the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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