Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
