And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize